Motive for Divorce among The Elderly in Padang City

This article aims to describe the motives for divorce among the elderly (elderly). The problem is focused on the married life of elderly couples, what are the because motives and in order to motive the elderly to divorce at a relatively long age of marriage. To approach this problem, a theoretical reference from Alfred Shuzt is used. Data was collected through free interviews with elderly people who were at least 60 years old, had been married for more than 25 years and had children and were divorced. Observations were also made to observe the life and activities of the elderly. The data obtained was analyzed qualitatively. This study concludes that the married life of the elderly, which initially runs harmoniously as they get older, tend to experience quarrels which cause disharmony in the relationship with their partner and finally decide to take divorce steps. The motive for the elderly deciding to divorce is dominated by sexual problems. Another reason is infidelity and polygamy by husbands, husbands leave the house and wives are busy taking care of their children and grandchildren. The in order to motive is to want to get out of marital problems, live quietly in old age and free oneself from obligations as a wife. However, it was found that this motive did not stand alone, but was an accumulation of various things.

and productive, whereas "elderly potential" refers to a person or group capable of doing work and or activities that can produce goods and or services (Ivo Noviana, 2015).
According to George H. Mead, human motives act or do something based on the meaning given to something, which can be to other people, things, or events or incidents. Meaning appeared and was created in the process of interaction through language or symbols. Here, Mead, in a study of interaction symbolism, refers to language as a system of symbols and words used in interpreting various things (Poloma, 2004). Temporarily, the study interaction symbolic Blumer (Poloma, 2004) in understanding meaning focuses on three premises, namely; (1) Human Act to something based on the meanings of something it is on them; (2) Human Act to something based on the meanings of something it is on them; and (3) Human Act to something based on the meanings of something it is (2) meanings derived from interaction with others; and 3) meanings perfected during the interaction process. While the word motif contains the meaning of reason or because somebody to do something. In Thing This Alfred Schutz divides the motive into two forms namely; 1. Because motive is things or factors that cause someone to do an action certain by considering various things like values and norms as well as conditions social economy, culture, and religion before doing something. The motive no appears so just but as a long process. 2. In Order to Motive, namely, reason somebody Act for To do something related to desired hope for the future come (Wirawan, 2013). Speaking about divorce, that is divorced life, is something the state cuts off bond marriage between husband and wife with various types of causes At that moment, the couple stops doing their respective obligations as husband and wife as well as life separate. However, divorce is more than just the dissolution of a marriage between a husband and a wife; it is also a process with many emotional, economic, and social implications.
There are several meanings of divorce, especially for a woman recently divorced (Fachrina, 2018). Divorce as Step Street goes away from the problem. Giving meaning to divorce appears because in the process of life, marriage was indeed no escape from various problems that gave birth to conflict and quarrel Keep going continuously. I could say no, I could again look for the best and satisfactory. The divorce takes meaning and goes out of the way of gathering problems in life in a marriage that causes quarrels and disharmony, though they realize that with divorce there will be no more problems. For that woman, divorce time means freedom. Free from a number of the roles that must be lived during marriage and free from the power of the husband. Besides that, divorce here also means independence. In the past, a woman was reluctant to decide to get divorced, because she did not have an income alone, so she felt not ready for the economy to continue life with her family after divorce from her husband. Whatever situations and conditions they encountered and felt during their marriage journey, they maintained as much as possible. However, when mature, most women tend to have work and income alone. With that, if found in marriage, something that makes marriage unable to be maintained again, so factor economy no longer exists. It becomes the only reason to maintain the marriage.
Various types of reasons for divorce summarized from various studies include, among others, infidelity, polygamy, incompatibility, consumption of drugs, alcohol problems, personality psychological mental disorders, problems with communication, problems with finance, and work, domestic violence, loss of feeling of love, less responsibility, marriage not happy, interferes with family, immaturity and other causes (Amato, P.R, 2003); (Graves, 2007); (Fachrina & Rinaldi, 2013); (Karim, 1999). What about old marriages? Are all the identified reasons also found among the elderly? For this reason, this article will describe the motives of the elderly to divorce at a relatively long age of marriage.

RESEARCH METHODS
The study conducted uses an approach qualitative, where one can understand the object of research through the understanding of research subjects on the problems studied without being separated from the context. Approach qualitative used in the skeleton describes by holistic condition background behind the life of married elderly whom that decide for To do divorce. States that qualitative methods are used because we need a detailed and complete understanding of the research problem Data collection on these details can only be done by talking directly to informants through interviews deep (Creswell, 2013). The informant determined on purpose that is elderly who are divorced at least 60 years old, have a child and age of 25 years of marriage or above, and live in the city of Padang as location research. Information obtained in the study this totaling 5 people consisting of 4 women and 1 man. All informants have minimum high school education. Work informants in general retired and 2 people do not work (mother) house stairs). Observations are also made for observing situations and conditions in life and family informant research. Data is also equipped with study deep into the object under study through existing books, articles, journals, and documents about problem research. Data are classified, interpreted, and linked in relation to theoretical assumptions, research objectives, and problems. With Thus the data is analyzed by qualitative interpretation based on the study of librarianship relevant.

RESULTS AND DISCUSSION Background of Older Married Life
Marriage or wedding is a bond between a holy born inner pair whose purpose is to shape sakinah, mawaddah, and waramah family members. To achieve it, every couple must undergo a life marriage with harmonious, mutual beliefs and hold a commitment to their wedding. Wedding expected Keep going and continue living until death separates you. In every marriage, there is one partner who wants a divorce in life.
Based on all the informant studies, it is clear that life marriages are in principle the same as life married couples in general. Life marriage from the beginning shapes family walks as expected, happy and mutual support with one another, though sometimes there are problems, however, considered reasonable by the informant in life marriage, like debate because of different opinions and desires, and misunderstandings, dealing with behavior and habits of a couple or quarreling in the process of parenting a child. Problems that arise could be faced and there would be little disturbance in operating the big dipper house stairs. All informants have a child and grow up in the whole family. Where is everyone's informant who has already gone through the journey of life and marriage over 25 years?
Informant D (83 years old) who used to work as a nurse at one house sick displayed that though her husband could be said no have an income permanent and no bring impact negatively for they in operate life marriage her husband is the husband whom two here informants previously has to have two children and together husband who two this have two kids again. The husband's support informant works as a nurse and works the same in looking after the necessity of the children and family. Could be said until children finish high school and live married they walk reasonably like family other. However, as child enter study in college tall private so needs daily and necessary education children the more increase. The problem starts popping up one by one added again attitude husband starts a little change. The husband starts sensitive and easily offended. Since the moment that quarrel more often occurs even only caused trivia like asking why haven't showered yet. This thing the more make the worse connection between the informant with the husband. At one time moment husband go from house to house with his parent's family after occurring a quarrel because of a problem with finance and the school child. Informant no wants to pick up their husband to go home to the house when their husband a number of the day then ask invited. Along with walk time no there is communication again and informants until now permanently widowed. The informant divorced at 61 years old after a time of marriage of 34 years.
Story different disclosed by informant A. Informant A, a mother house stairs that have 4 children. Travel life marriage traversed with safe and smooth though ripples problem family too often approaching like often debate because different opinion about method nurturing child, choose a school, no happiness if informant goes together moms complex house and more. However, all that declared informant as a spice in marriage and not until disturbing connection them. However, when the husband already has a pension appears problem new. Husbands the more often asked to relate to their husband and wife, whereas informants are not able often to serve the desired husband. Informants feel already old and lacking want it. The informant feels disinclined with their son and daughter-in-law who also live together, " cook " almost everyday hair wet ", so the informant reveals.
Divorce occurs when the informant gets information that the husband has another woman (girlfriend). According to the informant, this possible problem denial relates husband's wife who caused her husband involved in infidelity. He once for give his husband when the first man had an affair in the journey life marriage. Informant this thinking that deficiency or error he is the one who made husband cheat and tries repair Thing that. However, when the affair was conducted husband again in time already retired, and he no could again accept. Feeling disappointed, sad, and angry mixed stir feel informant so that he chases away husband from home. Finally, the informant no could accept her husband's cheating and asked her husband to divorce himself. The husband accepts a lawsuit divorces and marries the woman. Age informant new entering 60 years when divorce happens. Whereas age marriage they already turning 32 years old.
The divorce that happened to informant Bn (68 years old), was also motivated by the infidelity committed by the husband. Divorce occurs when children are already mature and married as well as already having two grandchildren. Age marriage that is 27 years. Though the informant only has the mother's house stairs but is recognized as too busy with looking after her grandchild so that not have enough notice of connection with her husband. Husbands often neglected to take care of and serve their needs especially needs spiritual (sexual). The moment that he feels no guilt because the husband has no question Thing that. However, the informant jerk when get husband has an affair with a woman who often comes home. That woman often requested to house goods the informant as well as my husband for doing a "massage". The informant was angry and disappointed so that finally chase away their husband from home and ask a divorce. deed chased away husband from the house explained informant to make it happen that not known by the children's son-in-law. Son and daughter-in-law since married 5 years before divorce occur stay-at-home informant. The moment happened divorce informant was 60 years old more 3 years old than her husband.
Informant M, a dad who is 3 years old and entering retirement, where retire when 58 years old. Informant this is retired from one of the state-owned enterprises in the city of Padang. He works very busy with business office work so not enough knowing problems faced by children and wives. Shopping money for necessities children and wife fulfilled is the most important for the informant. Their wife and children are busy with each activity. Relationship with wife moment work according to informant mediocre just like connection husband wife with few ripples quarrel in marriage. However the informant considers that not a conflict that can damage or endanger the marriage they, like the wife complain or are angry because the informant no supervise the associated child and gives freedom to the child. At the moment already retiring the informant feels the dynamics of living with his family. Informants have a little difficulty adapting to changes experienced in activities. Likewise with adaptation to activity child permanent wife busy in every day, while informant often alone at home since entering retirement. Lonely the more feel after over 2 years retirement.
Next case informant Nl (60 years old) i.e retired civil servant. Informant this new divorce moment study this done. Already marry twice and have child one person. Husband first already died since child was still small that is when 10 years old. 10 years widowed and married _ again however not have a child. The husband said the informant no have a clear job, where often goes to the outside city for work with his friend. During the marriage, the informant feels not have a husband because often left for a long time, sometimes up to 3-5 months. At the beginning marriage informant relatively could accept state this. Bustle work could cover the absence husband in life marriage. Informant hopes if something moment the husband stays together, however approaching retirement. Things the not happen. Informant permanent left alone. Two years after the pension finally informant decide not again accept the home husband and ask for a divorce. Though no there is no word of divorce from the husband, the informant considers already divorced from the husband.
In general, it is known that the divorce that happened to the informant under study is a divorce made handwritten. It means divorce with no character, and the official submits the divorced to the religious court. The informant asks for a divorce, so just the husband's momentary events make the informant take a step towards divorce. Informants who feel shy and a little embarrassed look after divorced religious court. Apart from being too lazy to deal with submission divorce terms. According to the informant, let it be an unofficial divorce just because there is no need for another letter of divorce. They feel no interest in the existence of a letter of divorce.

Because Motive
Affair. Divorce steps are steadily taken after knowing the husband is having an affair with another woman. 2 of the 5 informants' divorces were caused by factor cheating. They have the principle that no one can accept a husband's having an affair, and they already talked about it with the husband at the beginning of the wedding. If one of them is known to have an affair. The decision to divorce the husband was made after consulting with the children.
Infidelity in general cannot be tolerated, especially by a party wife who has a principal guard commitment wedding. Having an affair means that a couple frequently lies about or conceals their actions, so no one can be trusted to run a committed marriage again. Having an affair becomes a source of problems in marriage and finally disturbs a harmonious relationship. This thing is not desired but happens to every couple in life after marriage. It could be said the affair will hurt not only the wife and kids but also the family as a whole, and the community will condemn the behavior of this man. However, according to (Surya, 2009) infidelity could be understood as a form of reaching a balance between somebody dealing with demands and needs related to things that are not obtained in the family or life of marriage, like attention, love, and material possessions.
In Thing this having an affair according to the Big Indonesian Dictionary in aspect etymology is actions and behavior that hide something for interest alone, no frankly, no honesty, and deceitful. Terminology aspect, cheating is an activity sexual or considered emotional _ no fit and violates beliefs/norms Public yan did by someone who is tied in a commitment connection certain (Blow and Harnet, in Journal Psychology Development of Vol 8 No 2 June 2012). According to Hawari in Gifari majority of affairs are done by people Men temporary women only 10 %. Infidelity committed by women and Men based on interest gets satisfaction lust. According to him reasons for the happening affairs among other things because of existence opportunity or opportunity, conflict with the couple, sex with no complacency, animalistic sex, empty faith, and lack of shame. In a study this found case husband informant having an affair related to sex that is not satisfied.
Problem Sexual. Life sexual in humans ideally in progress along life man that alone, because of part from life man so quality life influence quality life sexual and vice versa quality sex comes to determine quality live. The more carry on age somebody will decrease their quality of sexually related with appearance several disturbances physiques like disease heart, diabetes, less nutrition because of not enough lust eat or disturbance indigestion, and disorders psychological.
Problem sexual is meant here related to activity sexual. Activities sexual are activities carried out as an effort to Fulfill needs or encouragement sexual. Problem sexual is a problem faced couple elderly at the end journey life marriage. The moment age enters age goes on in general excitement sexual tend experience drop compared to youth, especially in women, as well as the frequency of activity sex. Another thing with men. In general, all men are very interested in sex when they are young, whereas women are elderly and desire high sex. Only one-third of women are caused by menopausal factors, which are usually experienced when above 40-45 years old.
Condition like this is what happened to the 2 informants' research. Denial to desire husband for to do activity frequent sex conducted informant finally makes husband do infidelity and polygamy.
Polygamy. The elderly motifs next decide divorce, that is, if the husband has a desire for polygamy. As experienced informant M expressed a desire for polygamy at the time, the party wife did not agree and filed for divorce. The wife was not ready for polygamy, though the informant conveyed a reason to need a friend to accompany her because the wife and children were busy with daily tasks and promised no one would leave or abandon the children or wife, but a permanent relationship by all rights.
Although polygamy is permitted in Islamic teachings, it must be done "fairly." Fair to wives in the fields of livelihood, Mudumalai, association, and distribution night. In principle, Islam adheres to the monogamy system, but in some states, Islam allows a man to marry more than one (a maximum of four people). Polygamy has been around since the beginning. So Islam is nowhere near meeting the possibility of polygamous men existing (http://eprints.walisongo.ac.id/id/eprint/3708/3/102111012_Bab2.pdf).
According to Rida (Zuhdi, 1988), in Islam, polygamy is seen as more of a cause for "mudharat" than benefits. Most men, especially women, have character jealousy, jealous hearts, and love complaints. Rida says that characters will easily rise in height when faced with a polygamous life, so influence a harmonious family.
Most wives, up until the point when no one could accept their husband's marriage to another woman, hoped he was the only woman in her life who was married to her husband. Likewise, with informant research. Whatever the reason, the informant's marriage with the husband who married another woman could not be harmonious and comfortable. Then later in life, no happiness is full of prejudice and good to the husband. The husband wants his wife or other good informants to ask for a divorce.
Go from House. Husbands go leave the house, and wife and children are also one of the other motives for the occurrence of divorce at age carry on in the study. Disharmony connection in life and marriage caused the fight that happened Keep going continuously Becomes a trigger happening conflict with the husband. Divorce decisions are taken by informants when the husband goes leaves the house after occurring perdition. Divorce occurs so just without there being a word for divorce from the husband because already been gone for more than 3 months. Although for the case this husband's informant already asks for sorry and want a return to the house picked up by the family party wife, the however informant was not ready. Informant considers already divorce with husband when he goes leave home.
All reasons for divorce the elderly described above could say no standing cause _ alone but the process formerly started from disharmony relationship that happened in life married couple husband and wife. Disharmony is caused by various things. Quarrels in everyday life give birth to conflict sourced from different opinions or views of something. Inappropriate attitudes and behavior liked by the partner, which one is not could be changed again or couple no want to change.
Traditionally in Minangkabau society, after marriage, a man will live in his wife's house (matrilocal). Sumando is the name of the man in his wife's house. Where Sumando is considered as a foreigner or guest who is respected, served and guarded by his feelings. The presence of Sumando in the wife's house is like a manitiang of panuah oil. This means that if you just shake, a little oil will spill. Sumando is also considered not a member of his family, so his status is relatively fragile, which is likened to ashes on a stump, which are easily blown away by the wind (Nofiardi, 2018). Thus, if Sumando feels uncomfortable and is not appreciated by his wife or the wife's family, he will usually leave the house. Yanasti et al., (2021) refer to the husband leaving the house as baganyi. Where, if there is a problem that cannot be resolved in the household, the husband really has to leave the house and if he is picked up, it has to be customary. If the husband is not picked up according to custom, it will cause unclear marital status. In this case, according to state law, this woman has the right to sue her husband for divorce. Women who live with their husbands and do not return to their wives' homes will have an impact on the ambiguity of marital status.

In order to Motive
Go out from Problems Faced in Marriage. Here divorce is interpreted as Street going out from problems faced in life marriage. When trouble appears reparation changes and is not resolved as expected so divorce Becomes an alternative for a part couple. Likewise for informant research. Though the informant confesses the problem new will appear post divorce for a temporary time divorce feels informant enough to help release the burden or demands in undergoing life in her marriage. For the most important moment that frees from mix hand couple. Exit motive from the problem faced in life the marriage together this couple (husband) found in informant D.
Life Calm in Age Old. At the moment somebody already entering age advanced and the relative marriage period is always long enough to have a wish and hope to undergo life in a quiet, comfortable, happy, and safe marriage as well as prosperous. Tired and tired work and care, as well as raising a child paid with opportunity, enjoy results in old age _ together couple or family.
That's what I want to be reached by the informant. Informants do want again the existence of quarrels and problems in marriage for undergoing the remainder of life there. They are willing to separate from the couple when things happen to achieve life calm at the age old.
Free from Claims Obligation. Free from demands responsibility here is related to the obligation wife serve the needs husband. Needs husband related with problem sexual. On one side husbands after the pension has much time free, a lot take break, and play social media as well as watch videos on HP. Husbands tend more often to want the couple Fulfills their needs and desire perceived sexual_informant increase compared to husband busy work first. But on the other hand, the wife already were to enter menopause occur a drop in desire sexual. Condition Biology that happens to all women makes a woman tend to reject or reduce the quantity of having sex with her husband or wife.
Oswald who quotes Pfeiffer explains almost all Men carry on age is very interested in sex like when still teenagers, on the other hand, woman carry on age only one-third who have passion more sexual _ height says that woman, of course, tends not enough interest to sex compared with men.
In general elderly specifically, women consider activity sexual not enough worthy conducted elderly. Mentions that age carries on there are constraints external and internal influences activity elderly. The obstacle external originated from the environment concerning appropriate and not appropriate elderly express activity sexual they especially already have a grandson. Whereas internal barriers come from the subject elderly who feeling alone_already old, weak, and aspect psychological other.
" Lost sexuality no is an aspect of aging that doesn't could be avoided and partially big healthy people permanent active sexual regular until age continued. However, the aging process, of course, brings change certain in response to sexual physiological men and women and accompanied by the amount medical who became more prevalent at age continue to play a role in important happening disturbance of sexual pathogens in the elderly (Stanley, M., & Beare, 2016) (Quote statement on in study this tends found in informants woman. By biology in general old woman_over 50 years already going through menopause. Menopause declared relatively could influence the life sexual woman.

CONCLUSION
All of these causes of elderly divorce can be said to be not independent causes, but in the process it starts from the disharmony of the relationship that occurs in the married life of the husband and wife. Disharmony is caused by various things. Quarrels in everyday life that give birth to conflict originate from differences of opinion, views on something. Attitudes and behavior are not liked by the partner, which cannot be changed anymore or the partner does not want to change because of the family's financial problems. The accumulation of these things. At one point, an elderly couple finally decided to take steps to divorce. The motive of the elderly deciding to divorce is dominated by sexual problems. Other motives are infidelity and polygamy by the husband. The husband leaves the house and the wife is busy taking care of her children and grandchildren. The elderly hope that with this divorce they can get out of marital problems, live quietly in old age and free themselves from their obligations as husband and wife.